In Hoose Entertainment

January 23, 2007

Soundtrack Idea

Filed under: Reference

again, I’m a sucker for these things and given the amount of random crap on my iPod was interested to see what the results were.

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, RHYTHMBOX etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…

Opening Credits - Bone Machine (Pixies)
Waking Up - Hooligans For Life (Rival Schools)
First Day of School - I Want to Hold Your Hand (Beatles)
Falling in Love - Montagues & Capulets (Prokofiev)
Fight Song - Nice Dream (Radiohead)
Breaking Up - Myopia (Team)
Prom - Mindfields (Prodigy)
Life - Breadfan (Metallica)
Driving - Bridges (erm… by me!)
Flashback - Damage (The Cooper Temple Clause)
Getting Back Together - Doll (Foo Fighters)
Wedding - Elite (Deftones)
Party - Message (The Grates)
Birth of A Child - This Wicked Tongue (PJ Harvey)
Final Battle - The Only One I Know (Charlatans)
Funeral Song - High 5 (Rock the Catskills) (Beck)
Ending Credits - Hey (Pixies)

doesn’t really work.

January 8, 2007

Book Questions

Filed under: Reference

I can’t resist these things. Shamelessly nabbed from elsewhere…

1. Do you reckon you read “enough” (in whoever’s terms you want to take that)

Yes and no, sometimes I feel I’d like to read more. I only really get much done on the bus.

2. Is there a genre or type of books that you absolutely hate and will not read?

Trashy romance books like Mills and Boon. Anything which rosy would describe as hard science fiction.

3. If you start a book, give it its fifty pages and still hate it, will you finish it?

No. Cryptonomicon is a good example of one I gave up on, though I tried three times and got about 100 pages through once.

4. Name your five favourite books.

A song of Ice & Fire (series by george r.r. martin)
One of the ones by Robert Harris, possibly Fatherland.
Lord of the Rings
The Twits
Still missing one!

5. What’s your guilty pleasure book… the one you hide away in a drawer?

Why would I hide a book in a drawer?
I like Harry Potter books, which occasionally causes consternation. Also I enjoyed two of Dan Brown’s, which apparently I’m not supposed to do as someone who can think for themselves (which I’ve always found a bit ironic)

6. Which so-called classics, or books one “must have read” did you not like?

Catch 22.
Also, I don’t like the victorian style, so I won’t read any Charles Dickens and, although I liked the story, I didn’t enjoy reading The Turn of the Screw.

7. Do you read poetry? Who is your favourite poet?

No.

8. What are you reading at the moment?

The latest in Mark Billingham’s Thorne series. “Buried”

9. Do you buy your books or do you use a library?

Buy them and keep them.

10. Are you writing yourself?

Not yet. I’ve lots of ideas though so would like to give it a go.

January 4, 2007

A Year in Music

Filed under: Reference

This time last year I utilised my fine excel skills to produce a list of all the songs I’d been listening to on via my iPod. Unfortunately the little white jukebox has partially fried and refuses to correctly negotiate playcounts. Therefore I thought I’d just post some of the bands I’ve been listening to over the last year:

I’ve got right into Idlewild & The Stone Roses and I’ve probably spent more time listening to them than any other…

Though I’ve also been getting into listening to The Mars Volta & The Deftones.

Whilst continuing my love of Biffy Clryo, Future eX Wife, Metallica, The Cooper Temple Clause & Soundgarden.

And more generally; getting into Jazz & Motown.

That’s a pretty pared down list and it’ll do nicely for now.

July 3, 2006

The England Squad… Rated!

Filed under: Reference

Because I know this is the sort of thing I’ll be interested to read in about 2 years time, I thought I’d post my ratings and comments on the England squad over the course of the world cup…

1 Paul Robinson 5
Had a poor tournament, flapped at crosses, caused some uncertainty and looked out of sorts and nervous. Plus point is the big game experience will help him at future tournaments, and he’s clearly Englands nr.1.

2 Gary Neville 6

Was missed when he didn’t play, but didn’t actually do very well when he did. Regularly caught out of position and starting to look his age. He’s the best of a bad bunch at RB.

3 Ashley Cole 6

Awful for the group games, and then a marked improvement saw him become one of our better defenders.

4 Steven Gerrard 6

Solid tournament, could’ve got forward more to support the single striker, and could’ve taken a few more games by the scruff of the neck. Was often sytmied into holding for Lampard, but still could’ve showed more.

5 Rio Ferdinand 7

Solid at the back, our best defender hardly put a foot wrong.

6 John Terry 6

Generally solid, but a few errors and a few poor halves in the group stages

7 David Beckham 5

Poor tournament for England’s captain, yet he walked away with 1 goal and 2 assists. Even his set pieces were poor against Portugal though, and that’s basically all he’s in the team for.

8 Frank Lampard 3

Awful tournament, and got worse as it went on until he reached his nadir against Ecuador. His wayward shooting clearly affected his confidence and resulted in wayward passing. He’s a quality player and will be back, but he’ll want to forget this tournament.

9 Wayne Rooney 5

Worked hard, but showed few flashes of why he’s our “Golden Boy”. Never came across as fully fit and asked to do a thankless task, He never really showed up and left without a goal.

10 Michael Owen 3

Poor. His injury would’ve been a blessing if we’d actually taken any other strikers.

11 Joe Cole 6

Our best player in the group games, but disapeared in the knock outs. Perhaps this is why Mourinho criticises him whenever he plays well?! Scored our best goal of the tournament.

12 Sol Campbell 4

Only played a few minutes, but played them poorly

13 David James did not play
14 Wayne Bridge did not play
15 Jamie Carragher 5

Not an international right back, but should be ahead of campbell as 3rd choice centre back.

16 Owen Hargreaves 8

Unfairly criticised before the tournament, Hargreaves showed why he’s so highly rated by Bayern Munich. Played well in the group, then even better in the knock outs. Was the stand out player against Portugal.

17 Jermaine Jenas did not play

why was he there?

18 Michael Carrick 6

Didn’t see much action, but didn’t do anything wrong.

19 Aaron Lennon 7

Always looked more threatening than Beckham. Had a stormer in a couple of games, but could create more (i.e. his final ball is not too great). If he holds his pace, with additional experience and development then he’ll be a world beater at the next world cup.

20 Stewart Downing 5

Didn’t get much opportunity, but didn’t let himself down.

21 Peter Crouch 6

Not Great but played his role well, when required.

22 Scott Carson did not play
23 Theo Walcott did not play

why was he there?

Sven Goran-Eriksonn 5

Got the squad wrong, and didn’t adapt his tactics until injury forced his hand. Even then he left his strikers far to isolated as he strived to push home his almost catenaccio tactics on each game.
Admitedly they worked, to some extent, but he seemed to forget that we do actually need to score one to win the game… He’s underachieved.

June 29, 2006

Killer Pool

Filed under: Reference

… as played in Cheltenham and explained in terms of the three player version (because it’s easiest).

Inevitably innuendo’s will occur. I make no apology, nor will I try to avoid them.

The balls are seperated into three different sections, 1-5, 6-10, 11-15.

Player one breaks off as usual.

When you pot a ball you take on that ball’s “Section” (for instance - potting a 4 means that 1-5 are now yours). You get to replace the ball you potted back on the spot. You are now a “Killer” - meaning you can now pot other peoples balls (which you can do even if the other sections are unassigned).

The idea of the game is to be the last person with your balls left on the table.

If you pot any ball, you get another go.

It is perfectly legal to pot your own ball (usually this is a bit silly, mind).

If you foul when potting a ball, then that ball comes back out and gets placed on the spot (typically this means you’ve potted the white as well).

Foul = Free ball, white ball in hand.

Foul = Any eliminated player takes a ball out of the pocket and places on the spot (they’re back in the game).

Additional Rules:

Sometimes you nominate that certain balls must go in certain pockets (5,10,15 into the middle was a variation we played). This then introduces a new “Foul” into the game, with some interesting consequences.

When we played 4 player we made the 13,14,15 to be bonus balls. If you potted them (as a killer) then they were replaced on the table and became your ball.

It’s really quite simple (probably simpler than I’ve made it sound), good fun, and playable by any number of people (up to 15, though that’d get quite “Fun” I’d imagine!).

April 10, 2006

Pitch n Putt Results

Filed under: Reference

All holes par 3.

1st Emma 99
2nd Adrian 100
3rd Pete 112
4th Rosy 121

(emma-adrian-pete-rosy)
1 — 5-6-8-9
2 — 8-4-8-5
3 — 4-5-4-7
4 — 5-6-6-6
5 — 4-6-5-4
6 — 8-7-3-9
7 — 4-4-6-4
8 — 6-4-9-3
9 — 4-9-6-8
10 — 4-6-5-9
11 — 5-8-5-5
12 — 6-4-9-9
13 — 6-6-6-9
14 — 4-4-7-6
15 — 6-4-6-7
16 — 6-8-8-7
17 — 6-4-5-9
18 — 8-5-6-5

March 27, 2006

The Creative Wit of Boredom

Filed under: Reference

Ok, so I was bored on Friday and wrote, via goonie based medium a co-operative fiction based on nothing except a chance comment by me on the quietness of the G.L.

The “Other” bits were written by rosy, he being the only other one online at the time, but I thought I’d paste it here for posterity.

The air here was dark and murderous, a stench of blood and roasting flesh. A terrible silence had fallen upon this once vibrant land.

The night of the hamsters had come without warning. A cluster of rotting corpses, children on the inside, adults bearing rude weaponry surrounding them, spoke of a brave, desperate last defence.

The villagefolk stood arm to arm surrounding the precious yet vulnerable prize within when the hideous banshee wail went up :

“HAMSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

Everyone froze.

It was Mikhailubub who acted first…

Seizing a terrified piglet, he looked down at his daughter Urrunhuanhuar. Silently, her eyes begged him not to go but even she knew he had no choice. The village god, a small caterpillar named Charles, had selected him according to time-honoured tradition. The last village had been eradicated to a man because they did not heed the old ways, a fate Mikhailubub had sworn to avoid.

He broke eye contact and ran to the market.

… for the market is where the wheel of power stood.

This simple device, which for so long had acted as a curiosity, a sculpture of sorts, had been the gateway for the heinous beasts of the underworld, just two hours ago.

Mikhailubub thought back to how happy he’d been, playing flobs with Urrunhuanhuar and Henurrunhuanhuar, thinking of her made his eyes well up with bitter salt, in that now distant time.

It was a happy place back then, the world. It was a world without infestation, a world without death, without pain, without hate. It was a world away now, and all had changed in the quiet village of Peranthuligua.

The stalls stood deserted, brooding and menacing in the half-light that had come with the hamsters and seemed disinclined to leave. Mikhailubub wondered where the sentry Ooolala was, the poor soul who had stood alone and alerted the village to the cute menace.

Suddenly, the piglet strained frantically in his arms and the silence altered in tone, as if on frequencies Mikhailubub could not consciously hear there was a shift. He turned, and felt something whizz past his cheek. He registered two things: that it was Ooolala’s hand, and it had been launched from what had looked like an unoccupied cloud shop.

It was occupied… by hamsters!

The Cloud shop was a tradition of the village, people had come from miles around - and even from Bobubobulob, the regional capital, to buy the clouds of Peranthuligua. They came in Pink, Blue and even Cyan.

But not today.

The Cloud-Master General, the chubby friendly Kristopopulard, was face down blocking the doorway but he had no legs the hamsters had taken them.

Those bloodthirsty rampaging buck toothed hell spawn hamsters. Suddenly one of the vermin looked up, it’s beedy eyes registered the lone figure of mikhailubub and it made some sort of snort.

suddenly there were two..three… countless numbers of them.

Mikhailubub had no time to think, he came out of his stupor and threw the blast piglet as hard as he could.

The piglet squealed as it flew through the air and a phrase often used by the town clown - Flan - sprung to mind I’ll stop laughing when the blast piglets take to the air and fly! we’d all laughed back then, but Flan will laugh no more.

As the blast piglet soared through the air, Mikhailubub turned and ran for the wheel of power. He knew that even now, the piglet would be undergoing awesome biochemical changes as the sudden acceleration caused the walls of the myriad specialised tiny bladders it possessed to dissolve.

The binary fluids combined as the flesh ruptured on impact. A couple of hamsters got a taste of the flesh but the fireball destroyed hundreds.

Mikhailubub had bought time, precious time. He could hear the ground tremble as hamsters from miles around stopped whatever they were doing to swarm at the disturbance. He strapped himself into the centre of the wheel, gasping as the raging energies bridging the two worlds flooded through him.

As light engulfed Mikhailubub and as a strange powerful, yet safe feeling, energy surged through the instrument he used to call his body he noticed one disturbing sight.

The hamsters in ruin that used to be the cloud shop were not dead, Rather they were now stirring and they were larger than before.

A sense of loss engulfed Mikhailubub even as the portentous energy from the wheel overcame his tenuous hold on his limbs. All too late he realised he had not the strength. He could not be the one. Charles must’ve been wrong. Maybe he was always wrong, the thoughts entered his mind unbidden, Maybe our people, our culture, our future is destined to die, tonight, at the hands of those repulsive ravenous rampant rodents from hell.

And thus, with venerable anger, Mikhailubub was no more.


As the hamsters eyed the village with renewed hunger, a soft wind began to blow. The wheel was turning.

As the remaining villagers, huddled around their last pair of pyjamas, prepared to say goodbye to each other for the last time, the hamsters paused. Their attention switched from the juicy organs pulsing nearby to a slightly nagging feelin in their pointy, pointy teeth.

The wheel seemed to develop a secondary spin, out of phase and in the other direction.

Something changed.

a blinding flash of light and an eerie silence once again descended.

The people looked across, believing their salvation had arrived.

It had not.

the wheel had turned into a glimmering sheen of pure light, and through it an almost endless procession of hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs and chinchillas emerged.

They seemed to be chanting, but it couldn’t be made out…

Charles started up “See I told you…”

Charles was eaten by Urrunhuanhuar.

The villagers looked, aghast. “You’ve killed us all, lassie” whistled the wisened old crone, Bitumen, “Charles was our only hope”

With blood stained teeth Urrunhuanhuar declared “Charles lead us here, you blind old bitch,” and with meaning “Charles is one of them” … her finger extended, shaking, covered in dirt, blood, and who knows what else, towards the marching animals…

The whole village saw, as one, that she was telling the truth. Riding atop the rabid chinchilla’s were none other than Charles’ Catapillian brethren, it was they who were chanting, and they who seemed to be leading the demonic hoarde.

the chanting could be made out.

“Repent!”

they were singing;

“Repent! For our time is now, and yours … is OVER”

February 16, 2006

Draw a Pig!

Filed under: Reference

Thought this might be fun for some of you.

Draw a Pig!

Do the test before you look at mine!

These were my results:

* you are a realist. ummm, ok
* you believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates (birthdays, etc.) I suppose, though I really don’t remember dates
* you are emotional and naive, they care little for details and are a risk-taker.In some ways, I guess!
* secure, stubborn, and stick to their ideals. This one’s definitely right
* you are an OK listener I guess so
* you have a medium quality sex life. aaahahahahahahah!

OK, so the results are much of a muchness, but at least you get to draw a pig!

January 23, 2006

Films

Filed under: Reference

I thought I’d collect a list of the films I’ve marked so far. I’ll try and do the same again at the end of this calendar year (If I’m still blogging!) or some other seemingly appropriate point.

I try to mark films whenever I’ve seen one for the first time, I’ve obviously not done that everytime since the list would suggest I’ve only seen 12 new films (I gave Stand By Me a mark despite having seen it before) since the start of September, and I reckon it might be a little higher than that. Certainly every cinema trip is included.

Looking at the list there seems to be quite a gap between 2 and 3 and 4. This is intended. I’m disappointed that I haven’t seen a “5″ yet, and quite glad that I’ve not seen a “1″ (though “House of Flying Daggers” was very, very, close).

Heres the list.

Chronicles of Narnia 4/5
Enter The Dragon 4/5
King Kong 4/5
Serenity 4/5
Shaolin Soccer 4/5
Wallace & Gromit 4/5
Bubba Ho-Tep 3/5
Land of the Dead 3/5
Saw II 3/5
Stand By Me 3/5
Zoolander 3/5
Harry Potter Four 2/5
The House of Flying Daggers 2/5

January 3, 2006

A Year in Music

Filed under: Reference

My iPod keeps song counts and I’ve had it about a year…. therefore I can easily read off my favourite songs\ bands \albums of 2005;

as a disclaimer - I like numbers, you all know that, I also like useless stats, and I’m a maths\music geek, so I make no apologies for this, nor using excel to coallate the band \ album figures.

so here they are!

Songs:
1. Good Things (Rival Schools) 30 plays
2. L.S.F. (Kasabian) 27
3. Fall to Pieces (Velvet Revolver) 26
4. You Drove Me To It (Hell is for Heroes) 25
4. Sulk (Radiohead) 25
6. Justboy (Biffy Clyro) 22
6. Promises, Promises (The Cooper Temple Clause) 22
6. Victoria’s Secret (Future eX Wife) 22
9. Blind Pilots (The Cooper Temple Clause) 21
10. Been Training Dogs (The Cooper Temple Clause) 21

Other notable songs:
Paradise City (=11th), Virtue & Vice (=16th), 57 (=20th), Independent Love Song (!) (=20th), I’m a Message (late entry) (=28th), Octopus Kid (=54th).
181 songs registered 10 plays or more.
1203 songs registered at least 1 play.

Bands:
1. The Black Crowes 230 plays
2. Future eX Wife 203
3. The Cooper Temple Clause 194
4. Biffy Clyro 188
5. Radiohead 155
6. Guns n Roses 146
6. Idlewild 146
8. Led Zeppelin 140
9. Faith No More 133
10. Metallica 123
11. Oasis 113
12. BRMC 107
13. Miles Davis 106
14. Charlie Parker 99
15. Hell is for Heroes 98
16. Soundgarden 97
17. Muse 94
18. Everstrong 90
19. Ian Brown 86
20. The Beatles 84
20. The Killers 84

20->30
The Charlatans, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Nirvana, Feeder, Bryan Ferry, Foo Fighters, Skid Row, Velvet Revolver, Kasabian, QOTSA, U2

Other Notable Entries:
Me! - 33rd, SFA 37th (very late entry), “Various” 38th, Polarised 41st, Kaiser Chiefs 47th, The Pixies 48th, Elvis 62nd, Jimi Hendrix, 73rd

39 bands were listened to more than 50 times
118 registered more than 10 listens
182 had at least 1 play.

Me + Polarised + waterhoose would’ve finished equal 11th with 113 plays.

Albums:
1. Kick up the Fire and let the Flames Break Loose (The Cooper Temple Clause) 136 plays
2. The Bends (Radiohead) 107
3. Miss September (Future eX Wife) 103
4. Miles Ahead (Miles Davis) 100
5. Bird of Paradise (Charlie Parker) 99
6. BRMC (BRMC) 97
7. Amorica (The Black Crowes) 96
8. While Your Husbands Away (Future eX Wife) 90
9. Infinity Land (Biffy Clyro) 89
10. The Greatest (Ian Brown) 86
11. 100 Broken Windows (Idlewild) 85
12. Hot Fuss (The Killers) 84
13. Hello Again (Everstrong) 81
14. Fever To Tell (Yeah Yeah Yeahs) 80
14. Melting Pot (The Charlatans) 80
16. Streetlife (Bryan Ferry) 67
17. Polythene (Feeder) 65
18. Contraband (Velvet Revolver) 64
19. Down on the Upside (Soundgarden) 62
19. Kasabian (Kasabian) 62

Other notable entries:
Urban Hymns (26th) Love Kraft (27th) Appetite for Destruction (29thh) Blackened Sky (34th), Riverside EP (55nd).

30 albums registered 50 plays or over
165 albums registered 10 plays or more
251 albums registered 1 play or more

November 28, 2005

The Show

Filed under: Reference

A brief summary of the show, from an acoustic guitarists perspective.

Band comes on. We have to look like we’re busy so all randomly play an “A” (we’d actually mostly tuned up before the doors opened) the line up is (L->R) Greg, Lizzie, Me at the back - Justin, Chris at the front and the four brass out to the side.

Lizzie waits for green light and plays a bassy chord, Justin stands in the spotlight and plays an intro…

and then the interlude is off!

people run in from the left and dance around in the middle before finding their positions. The chorus is organised into different “Types” of people, this includes Punks, Geeks, Chavs, the Elderly etc etc…. the geeks are first on (one is in a star trek uniform).

The jurers, usher etc… also come on.

a few introductory songs are sung that outline the plot (not really important).

I play quite a bit during these numbers (1a 1b and 1c)

Then the defendent comes on and sings a couple 2 & 3 - I don’t play at all here, there are some nice touches in these songs including a “Pretty Vacant” nod… “tic a tac” or something.

The judge comes on and sings a couple 4 & 5 - again with the touches - including house of the rising sun. I play a bit in 4 and quite a lot in 5. There’s a fun bit in 4 where it all goes a bit twee. The soaks audience loved it.

Song 6 see’s the cowgirls, including the rather attractive triumvirate of Bex, LW and Frankie, come on. I think these are the “Bridesmaids” in the original. the Judge (Pete Roberts) plays my guitar whilst I stand back and watch. The cowgirls finish up standing in front of me, so any vision of the audience is lost.

Song 7&8&9 are all about the judge and jury falling in love with the “bride” who came on late in song 6, and the defendent falling out with everyone. I play snatches. Is “ahhh… Sly Dogs ahhh….. Sly Dogs” in one of these songs - probably!

I may have some of the following in the wrong order

Song 10- “I’ll marry one today and t’other tomorrow” - I play a little bit.

Song 11- play lots at the beginning “Marry two girls at one time is burglar-ee”

Song 12 - a nice dilemma? quality bit in the middle where everyone goes silent and then the cast all start doing rhythm sounds like sighing, rustling paper etc… building up into a drummy bit with two drummers and then a triamphant return to the song. The show doesn’t really let up after this one. I don’t play during this one so can stand back and enjoy it.

Song 13 - Bride tells how she loves defendent (or something) I play no part. “Let’s Get him drunk and try” “With all respect I do object” “I do object” “I don’t object” “I’ll marry her myself!”

Song 14 - Joy Unbounded! with a good fun ending which I play lots in.

then we repeat the last three pages again (the best bit) whilst everyone leaves.

for the last show we got an encore and played the interlude again.

I don’t suppose many people will read this post, but if you did - good for you!

November 14, 2005

Go-Karting Results

Filed under: Reference

The Results:
I would like to say I improved alot as the day went on - and think I would do lots better were we to go again ;)

Here’s how it worked.

we had lots of heats and had a points total which determined our final position (as recorded here) the pos 7-12 then raced in a B final and 1-6 raced in the A final.

there were 31 of us attendent, but due to a mess up on their behalf we had 10 “Outsiders” racing with us. they’d clearly been before so they nabbed a fair amount of the top positions. I’m leaving the outsiders off the list.

the overall winner, however, was one of our own.

The lap times do not include the finals, and I’m pretty sure (for example) that Allan, Ross and Mahinda all set their best times in their respective finals!

Final Standings
1 Matt Lees winner A Final
2 Allan Fairle-Clarke A Finalist
3 Jonathon Roberts A Finalist
4 Ross Connell B Final Winner
5 Wayne Field B Finalist
6 Mahinda K. B Finalist
7 Adam Hebden B Finalist
8 Pete Gould
9 Si Glass
10 Mike Thomas
11 Emma Sutphakdee
12 Malcolm Gray
13 Toby Drydale
14 John Brooks
15 Alistair Murry
16 Matthew Barnett
17 Michael Rosefield
18 Ed Lea
19 Andi Ellwood
20 Jeremy Hook
21 Joel Holden
22 Peter Waterhouse
23 Dan Burnip
24 Adrian Dobson
25 Pam Ward
26 Sarah Midgely
27 Cyrus Rashvand
28 LW
29 Nick Lote
30 Leila Rashvand
31 Kate Stinchcombe

Quickest Lap
1 Matt Lees 24.35
2 Pete Gould 25.61
3 Si Glass 25.75
4 Mike Thomas 25.82
5 Mahinda K. 25.93
6 Ross Connell 26.11
7 Emma Sutphakdee 26.18
8 Jonathon Roberts 26.26
9 Alistair Murry 26.35
10 Allan Fairle-Clarke 26.40
11 Wayne Field 26.42
12 Malcolm Gray 26.65
13 Ed Lea 26.97
14 Dan Burnip 27.02
15 Toby Drydale 27.03
16 Adam Hebden 27.08
17 Peter Waterhouse 27.25
18 Michael Rosefield 27.26
19 Andi Ellwood 27.37
20 Jeremy Hook 27.48
21 John Brooks 27.60
22 Joel Holden 28.14
23 Cyrus Rashvand 28.24
24 Matthew Barnett 28.25
25 Adrian Dobson 28.31
26 Nick Lote 28.33
27 Pam Ward 28.72
28 Sarah Midgely 28.87
29 Leila Rashvand 29.70
30 LW 30.22
31 Kate Stinchcombe 32.98

September 11, 2005

Quarters & Other Drinking Games

Filed under: Reference

Fun? in a pub?! do they mix??

They Do Now!

Quarters

Quarters, named for the American coin that spawned the game involves 2 shot glasses (or more for a bigger group) and 2 10p’s.

The game is this

If you have a shot glass in front of you you have to try and “Bounce” the 10p coin into the shot glass. (i.e.) throw it into the table and hope that it goes in.

If you get it in first time you can pass the shot glass to your left or to your right.

Otherwise, pass it to the left when you finally get it in.

If you end up with two shot glasses in front of you, you have to down your drink! (we drunk fingers because Tribeca is too expensive!) you keep one of the shot glasses and pass the other one around the table. start again.

That’s it! very simple, lots of fun!

Twenty-One

My favourite drinking game.

After I introduced Mahinda to the sport, he wrote a brilliant description in his blog. I’m not going to attempt to improve upon it, so I’ve shamelessly cut and paste it into here.

“Twenty-One, as referred to in my last entry, is a common drinking game. The rules are simple (well, they start off simple, anyway):

Basic Premise

Going round in a circle (or thereabouts), you aim to get to 21 by taking turns to say one, two or three consecutive numbers. Numbers must always go up consecutively, i.e. if your neighbour says “1″, you must then start your turn with “2″.

Eventually, someone will have to say “21″…in which case they:

1. Drink.
2. Specify a new rule.
3. Start the game off again, from 1.

More about new rules later. As far as the drinking goes, it depends how hardcore you’re being - often either two fingers, your whole pint, or a swig of the penalty drink is required.

If someone messes up on the way (and there are many ways to mess up), he/she must:

1. Drink.
2. Start the game off again, from 1.

Note that this drink is usually less severe, e.g. just two fingers’ worth. Also, you don’t get to add a rule.

Starting the Game

Whoever starts the game must specify a direction, and then say one, two or three numbers, starting from “1″, e.g. “To my left…ONE, TWO”.

The next person, in the specified direction, must then continue. Of course, exactly who is the next person depends on how many numbers the starter has said…

One, Two or Three Numbers

Whether someone says one, two or three numbers has a direct influence on who goes next:

* One number - play passes along smoothly, going in the original direction on to the next person.
* Two numbers - the order of play is reversed.
* Three numbers - same direction, but skipping the next player.

Naturally, speaking out of turn, or saying the wrong number, results in a penalty drink and the game restarting from 1.

A cunning rule that was introduced to me last night was the one that you must say a different number of numbers to your predecessor, e.g. if he/she said “1″, you must continue with either “2, 3″ or “2, 3, 4″ - saying just “2″ would entail drinking.

New Rules

The most important part of the game!

Once someone has had to say “21″ (and then drunk something), they get to specify a new rule. These can be just about anything within reason, and can include substitutions, actions, etc. For example:

* When saying “3″, you must stand on one leg.
* Instead of “12″, you must say “Wibble”.
* For all numbers divisible by 4, you must touch your nose.

It’s usually up to either a nominated gamesmaster, or group discussion, as to whether or not a rule should be allowed. For example, in some circles, “all numbers divisible by 3 must be said in binary” would be considered fine. However, most people regard (quite rightly) the sort of people who’d play that particular rule as freaks.

Rules can act concurrently, e.g. using the new rules specified above, when you get to 12, you’d have to say “Wibble” and touch your nose.

Naturally, if you get it wrong, you drink, and the game starts again from 1.

Ending the Game

After an hour or so, the rules usually get far too complex to follow, expecially given that all players should now have consumed a fair quantity of alcohol. At some point, players will just decide that they can’t be arsed any more, and play a different game.

The exact complexity of the rules at this point is a fair indicator to how successful your game has been.

Example Game

The game that we played in The Friendship Inn, the evening before this post, ended up with the following rules (in number order, rather than order of introduction):

* Instead of “1″, you must say “Ecky!”
* Instead of “2″, you must say “Ecky! Pitang!”
* Instead of “3″, you must say “Ecky! Ecky! Pitang!”
* For all numbers divisible by 4, you must pinch your nose.
* For all numbers divisible by 5, you must instead say “Quack!”
* The numbers 6 and 8 are swapped, but their actions stay as-is.
* When saying “11″, you must stand up.
* When saying “11″, the players to your left and right must give you bunny ears.
* When saying any number with two syllables (i.e. 7, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20), you must cup your hand to your ear.

So, as far as order of numbers goes, you’d have to do this:

1. Say “Ecky!”
2. Say “Ecky! Pitang!”
3. Say “Ecky! Ecky! Pitang!”
4. Say “Four” while pinching your nose.
5. Say “Quack!”
6. Say “Eight”.
7. Say “Seven” while cupping your hand to your ear.
8. Say “Six” while pinching your nose.
9. Say “Nine”.
10. Say “Quack!”
11. Say “Eleven” while standing up, and having your neighbours each give you a bunny ear.
12. Say “Twelve” while pinching your nose.
13. Say “Thirteen” while cupping your hand to your ear.
14. Say “Fourteen” while cupping your hand to your ear.
15. Say “Quack!” while cupping your hand to your ear.
16. Say “Sixteen” while cupping your hand to your ear AND pinching your nose.
17. Say “Seventeen”.
18. Say “Eighteen” while cupping your hand to your ear.
19. Say “Nineteen” while cupping your hand to your ear.
20. Say “Quack!” while cupping your hand to your ear AND pinching your nose.
21. Say “Twenty-One”…then swear loudly, drink, and add a new rule.

So, fun.

I Have Never

The Classic.

Someone says “I have never … ” and names something they’ve never done.

Anyone who *has* done that thing then has to drink.

Simplicity itself, but it works sooooo well.

Mats (added)

We invented mats on a hazy evening in “The Big Hands” (sometime in October ‘05) It’s a great, if somewhat messy, drinking game that can only really be played in pubs with adequate tables and beermats.

The idea is to remove beermats from your pile, and add them to other peoples.

The rules are:

1) You must lift up your pint when you want to take a drink
2) You cannot touch any mat when your drink is grounded
3) You must take a drink if you lift up your pint
4) you can only move 1 or 2 mats with every movement.
5) you can only place mats on unprotected piles (i.e. no pint on top of them)

there are no winners or losers, just drinkers and people who get soaking wet (generally this is LW).

Table Football

Not really a drinking game but I had to include it for the fun factor.

Three coins (preferably the same, I’ve found 5p’s work best, but any coins will do)

the “Defender” makes the “Rock” sign with their hand (see Leeds Bibliography) and places it on the table with the two fingers outstretched on top. This is the goal.

the “Attacker” starts from the other side of the table with the three coins placed together with 1 behind the other two in the centre.

Start by flicking the coin at the back through the two in front.

The second and third shot must send one coin through the other two. The third shot is your “Shot on goal”. If you hit the back of the hand making the goal, you’ve scored. swap roles and start again.

There’s only one other rule, if any coin leaves the table then your go is over. (Offside!)

There are many variations on this including table rugby, which requires just one coin, but they’re not as fun so I’m not going to bother with them!

Beer Popping

This is a game to be played when you’re in a place selling cheap bottles of beer.

If you tap the top of someone elses beer with your own then it “excites” the beer inside and - if the bottle is full enough - if will lead to an explosion of fluid. Very amusing, quite messy!

Thumb Master

Generally played in conjunction with another game (it works very well with 21) this game involves someone being nominated thumb-master.

At some point the t-m puts their thumb on the table, serrepticiously, but visible (i.e. placing it behind your pint is considered bad form) Everyone else around the table must follow suit as soon as they notice. The last person to do so has to drink.

They then become the t-m and the game continues.

September 1, 2005

The Bands at Leeds

Filed under: Major Events, Reference

Friday:
Alkaline Trio 1/10
poor. choice comment as we watched them was from mike:
“Aren’t they a pub band?”

Funeral For A Friend
6.5/10
Given little chance to shine but a top drawer act - would’ve
benefitted from playing more songs from the first album I’d
have thought. the drummer became a thing of parody with his
scream voice, including encouraging an ordering of drinks in
his style.

Jason Maniford 6/10
funny. ish.

Reginald D Hunter 9/10
Funny. Line of the day “You British drink like we americans
eat!”.

Iggy and the stooges 9/10
Brilliant performance from the old master. Choice on-stage
comment “Wake up Leeds, I’m a fucking American Psycho!” and
he is.

Incubus 5/10
Incubus played did they? oh, must’ve missed them… oh, I
didn’t!

Future eX wife 9/10
On the unsigned stage. Top rock stuff. loverly.

Marilyn Manson 5/10
I only caught 20 mins of his set but thought it was pretty
average.

Tenacious D 8/10
You’re thinking: “Tenacious D!” but they didn’t play! ohhhh,
but they did, a remarkable sing-along pre-maiden of tribute
culmulating in everyone doing the ROCK hand sign and
shouting “ROCK” at the same time. brilliant.

Iron Maiden 10/10
This band define ROCK. They checked all the boxes. I wasn’t
sure how much I’d like them, but I tell thee what… They’re
flippin’ marvellous. Moment of the day (1) : the 10 foot
ogre, Eddie, playing air guitar on stage. Moment of the day
(2) Bruce Dickinson talking to the crowd (normal-radio 2 type
voice) “So, I saw this band playing in Leeds once, I wasn’t
in the band then, and I thought “Wow!, they’re pretty decent
I should try and join them” (Crazy scream from nowhere) “Run
to the Hills!!!!!!!!!” (song starts….)

Saturday:

The Blood Arm 8/10
“I like all the girls and all the girls like me!”

Graham Coxon 6/10
didn’t see much of him to be honest. alright I suppose

Elbow 8/10
ooooh. floaty bits of paper!

The Cooper Temple Clause 6.5/10
I love the coops but their new stuff sounds naff and they should play more old songs and within their own sound. disappointing.

The Killers 8/10
good! grief! that songs not really about being eaten by pigs, is it? I assume Glamorous Indie Rock n Roll is about leaving horses in peoples beds, then?

The Pixies 9.5/10
Immense. Line of the day “Good night Kim” “Good night Joe” “Good night Danny” “Good Night Joe” “Good night Kim” “Good night everyone”. STOP. Kim Deal *IS* fit, which I didn’t think before this set. Pam disagrees with me. Nimrods son rocks. The Pixies ARE AWESOME LIVE. Thanks.

Sunday:

Biffy Clyro
9.5/10
‘mon the biff! my second most watched band of all time came throught in spectacular style. Top bombing!

Alan Carr 3.5/10
not very funny. some laughs.

The Charlatans 3/10
The Charlatans were The disappointment of The weekend. a set list containing mainly no-mark songs that NO ONE KNEW when you have a back catalogue of genius IS NOT THE WAY TO PLAY A FESTIVAL.

Razorlight 7/10
the lead singer is a cock. edit: I no longer think this the band are alright though.

Kings of Leon 8/10
Not so hairy and lots of fun. At least thats what people told me after.

Foo Fighters 9/10
erm, I remember enjoying watching them, but not a lot else!

The Leeds Festival Bibliography

Filed under: Major Events, Reference

Bacon - Breakfast

Billy Bowden - Umpire who provided most of our play-along
actions and will call someone out before he’s even bowled
to in the next innings

Bouncer : not shot.

Cap - pillow-tastic!

Catch up : what one should do.

Cess Pit : if you don’t know what this is, you’ve never been
to a festival.

Chairs - Genius invention that increase the liklihood of me
falling on the floor *AND* the spillage of tea.

Claire : Out next door neighbour from Kendal.

Dan : not here.

Dancin’ Michael Vaughan - Upon doing a spot quiz asking
“Should we enforce the follow on” Everyone said yes (even
LW who used the reasoning “Does that mean that the
cricket doesn’t last as long?”) except rosy, who said that
he’d “Dance” cue - dancin’ Michael Vaughan and his follow on
blues.

Fifth day - a day we did not require.

Fire - Brians best friend.

Follow on - you mean we enforced the follow on?!

Follow on blues - the Aussies theme song

Freddie Flintoff - Lover of mushy peas and bread. Also plays
cricket.

Gas Canisters - should not be left on over night

Ghostbusters - The Full Stop.

Gremlin, The - Adam Gilchrist

Ground, The - Made for sleepin’

Helen Daniels : NOT our next door neighbour.

Ian Bell aka “The shortest ballboy on the field” a schoolboy
who plays for England. famed for asking dancin’ michael
vaughan questions.

King of Ming : an important role relating to the mingingist
person of the weekend. Awarded to Mike for the *NOT FOR PUBLICATION* incident

Leprechaun, The - Justin Langer

Made of Ming : what things are.

Murder Bottle : a bottle of JD and Coke. (strong)

Pimm’s O’Clock - a good joke. Told on the spur (about our neighbours) by Pete to the line… “Hmmmm, Two girls, one fella, a tent…. I make that Pimm’s O’Clock!”. Rosy didn’t get it.

Plastic Cups - should NOT be burnt.

Polish Sausage - a bad joke. Relates to Pete’s “Worst Joke
Ever” which was initially deemed unworthy of airing until -
regretfully - insisted upon. NOT FOR PUBLICATION.

Rain - wet stuff.

ROCK - Iron Maiden

rock hand sign - little finger, index finger upraised. middle
fingers down. arm in the air. Mouth saying “ROCK!” at volume.

Saturday Night - Car park entertainment

Spin me round gang, The: our *other* next door neighbours.
irritating sort.

Shouters : Bruce Dickenson & the Drummer from ffaf (read
reviews)

Stain’d : Pam’s Jumper.

Super Frankie Lampard & his supergoals - speaks for itself.

Sun - warm thing

Tea - Life Saver £1.20

Test Icicles - an amusing band name.

Wet Wipes - a shower

Appendix:
THE CRICKET CHANTS:
Run out by a sub
Run out by a sub
You were run out
You were run out
Run out by a sub

And his name was Pratt
And his name was Pratt
And his name was
And his name was
And his name was Pratt

Shane Warne!
He only faced one ball
He only faced one ball
He only faced one ball
Shane Warne!
He only faced one ball
He only faced one ball
He only faced one ball






















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